HOW TO - burn food and set the kitchen on fire

The Pioneer Woman has the ability to sense my weakness - bread and butter!

I didn't have any french bread at midnight when I came upon this concoction, so I used a bagel to try this out. Smothered the first half of bagel with butter, popped it under the broiler - DELICIOUS! So I decided I needed to finish off the other half. Did the same to it and popped it in the oven and set the timer. For some reason, I decided to check on it - good thing - a fire had erupted! Dang, I was looking forward to another scrumptious piece of butter and bread. Thank goodness my husband was asleep, as I had to open the windows, air out the house and spray air freshener throughout the upstairs, AND burn a candle to ensure no tell-tale signs of my burnt food episode.

My family makes fun of me because I burn food. Why do I do it? Not on purpose - it's just that I get distracted. And besides, my dad always told me that burnt food put hair on your chest, and I was just ensuring that my husband and son would have plenty, because it never happened for me or the girls (what a blessing - cause my two men have made up for it!!!)

Will I make "The Bread" again? You bet! But I will lower the rack under the broiler next time, and possibly share the love!!!

Addendum: When I was telling those at home about my post, they reminded me it wasn't just burning food that I am adept at, it was also how I set kitchens on fire. All I have to say on that is see reasons above, and remember - we got a new kitchen out of it :)